The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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