Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
