You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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