Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
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I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So squirting runs in the family.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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