This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
