the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Bring me that man meat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
