eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
