I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
