The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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