Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
