Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
