I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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