You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize