tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
