I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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