I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
