She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
soo... how was my night?
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