So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
