I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
