please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
