You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
