he wants to bone in the snuggie
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
