margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Screwed.edu
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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