Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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