Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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