All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
