Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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