just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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