to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
