Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
