how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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