im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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