nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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