Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
