HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
