tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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