shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
