office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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