This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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