he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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