No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
