I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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