Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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