it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
