Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
