just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
