rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
