I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
