i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
