do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
