yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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