Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
