Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
