I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy