who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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