How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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