I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked