Just took my morning after pill in the library
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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