moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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