drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
