Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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