Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
