You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
